Oh good God.
The Archdiocese of Cincinnati ruled that priests are no longer allowed to "kiss, wrestle and tickle" children, but can still shake their hands and pat them on the back. They can also high five the little rascals - perhaps after they share their post coital cigarette.
Also prohibited are bear hugs, lap sitting and piggy back rides. It's says nothing about watersports, but I guess that is implied. Clearly the good Catholics of Cincinnati can breathe a sign of relief that their childrens will be bear hug free from Father Touchy.
I poke (heh, poke) fun at this announcement not to diminish the importance of the rampant pedophilia within the ranks of the Catholic Church, but rather to point out that the archdiocese needed to make such a statement in the first place. Here we have one of the most powerful mafias in the world charging their soldiers with such unnatural policies as abstinence. Nature gave us genitals and hard coded them to our brains for a purpose - to be used. If the intent was not to use them for pleasure (and I suppose reproduction), then evolution would have cut off the adrenaline pathway between a hard-on and the need to poke a few thousand years ago. Evolution is swift when it comes to homo sapiens.
So charging priests with abstinence, in my opinion, is forcing them to suppress a natural, dare I say God granted, act. Thus when things are shoved into a box (?!?) then it's just a matter of time before it creeps out and often times, when it's not supposed to.
Let the priests marry and fuck, for Christ sake. Kids have enough pressure these days then to have to worry about if the beast within their priests decides to emerge during choir practice.
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